


Komaeda at 3AM

by Vhaiada



Series: Many Hinakoma Opportunities [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, just a little choking, takes place in canon Chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vhaiada/pseuds/Vhaiada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did... you finally play the game, Hinata-kun?" He was still smiling, a bit subdued.</p>
<p>Hinata had already spoken about this more than he'd wanted to that morning. "I'm not gonna talk about anything with you, I'm gonna open these, and then leave."</p>
<p>"Okay," Komaeda agreed quietly, eyes wide as he watched Hinata's fingers work open the packaging on a bag of pretzels. His pupils contracted, following every movement with increasing intensity. The unpleasant rip of plastic speckled the silence between them, leaving huge gaps where Hinata swore he could hear the other boy breathing.</p>
<p>(Hinata feels just a little, tiny bit bad that Komaeda is hungry and tied up in the dining hall, and pays him a visit late at night.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Komaeda at 3AM

"It would probably... be bad... if he starved for real."

Sitting rigidly on the edge of his bed at 2:41am, fists pressed into his knees, Hinata whispered those words to the bag of Rocketpunch snacks at his side.  He'd been staring at his shoes by the door for a while now, as though actually getting up and putting them on was the point of no return. 

That morning, as Hinata found himself in the restaurant at exactly the wrong moment, Koizumi pushed the tray of toast and milk into his hands, and he wondered what it was like to be _lucky_. He'd since failed miserably at pinning breakfast duty on anyone else, which left him to assume that Komaeda had only been brought a single piece of toast in the span of what was now three whole days. Hinata allowed himself a long-suffering sigh so that his empty room would know of his tremendous burden.

Someone had to do it, right?

It was, after all, actually kind of a chilly night. Sort of. Kind of. Maybe Komaeda was freezing. Maybe that single piece of toast had slipped through the ample space in the floorboards. Maybe he'd knocked over his milk, and now he was covered in milk, and, "It would definitely be bad if he starved to death!" Hinata startled himself by announcing too loudly to the pitiful collection of Monokuma plushies in the corner. The sound reverberated lightly off the bare walls, quieting his train of thought. He stood up, grabbed the snacks, and put on his shoes. 

~~~~~

The nighttime ambiance, the sky that was still too beautiful, the haze of the hotel in the distance all seemed flat and dull, blurred by nerves. Hinata listened distantly to the sound of his own footsteps changing in pitch as boardwalk became poolside concrete, and the gap between himself and his goal narrowed ominously.

Hinata's mind raced. What if Komaeda had escaped? What if Komaeda was still there, in the exact same position as he'd left him over 15 hours ago? What if he talks? What if he _doesn't_ talk?

Hinata spent a full minute standing outside the old building, blankly staring at the dark space underneath it. A detailed scenario unfolded in his mind. He'll go into the storage room, slip below the floor. He'll cram the bags of snacks he brought through the floorboards, and nudge them over to Komaeda. Somehow. With his fingers. He'd be able to see if he was lying there at least, if...only the carpet wasn't there. But the light might shine through it, casting a silhouette, and.. _.wait, the light_... Suddenly Hinata couldn't remember if the light in the dining hall was on when he left. Did he turn it off out of habit? Is Komaeda lying there alone, cold, hungry, in the dark--

His desperate avoidance fantasy dissipated when he realized he was already inside, hand on the heavy wooden door to the dining hall. Without giving himself another moment to regret it, he pushed it open.

The light was on. It shone down harsh, oppressive, and inescapable in the dead of night, which now seemed almost crueler than the pitch black alternative. The plate from breakfast was there, the piece of toast with a single bite taken out of it sitting off to the side on the floor as though it had been dropped. In the middle of the room, Komaeda slept, curled in on himself, halfway under one of the large tables so that it blocked the light on his face. The thick white tablecloth, still stained with food spills from the party, had been awkwardly pulled toward one end so that it spilled partially off the table and draped over his lower half in some semblance of a blanket. Hinata caught himself wondering if he'd had to pull it with his teeth, and then silenced the thought by speaking much too abruptly.  "Komaeda." He took a heavy step forward to punctuate it.

The figure on the floor twitched. In the black shadow cast by the table, Hinata could barely make out a grimace of discomfort on Komaeda's face as he lifted his head and squinted one eye open. As soon as recognition set-in, the grimace dissolved into welcoming delight.

"--nata-kun!" Komaeda's voice cracked, skipping right over the first syllable, husky from disuse and a parched throat. He didn't seem bothered.

Hinata tried not to cringe at the smile that glinted from under the table, sincere and completely lacking in resentment. Komaeda's cracked lips parted to speak again, so he took another step forward and threw down the plastic bag full of a snacks. It crunched loudly as a few colorful packages skittered out across the carpet. Komaeda flinched at the sound, and Hinata's guilt deepened.

"Sorry," he mumbled, suddenly feeling so stupid for being here, for making a fucking spectacle of how not bothered he was. "I'm gonna open these for you, and then I'm gonna leave, okay?"

"Did... you finally play the game, Hinata-kun?" He was still smiling, a bit subdued.

Hinata had already spoken about this more than he'd wanted to that morning. "I'm not gonna talk about anything with you, I'm gonna open these, and then leave."

"Okay," he agreed quietly, eyes wide as he watched Hinata's fingers work open the packaging on a bag of pretzels. His pupils contracted, following every movement with increasing intensity. The unpleasant rip of plastic speckled the silence between them, leaving huge gaps where Hinata swore he could hear the other boy breathing.

Minutes passed while he lined up previously individually-wrapped cookies on a napkin, and Hinata could pinpoint the exact moment that he let his guard down, the exact moment that he became too comfortable losing himself in the mindless task of cookie extraction. It was the exact moment that Komaeda said, "Do you want to watch me eat them off the floor like a dog, Hinata-kun?"

Hinata froze, half-opened cookie in his hand, and stared at the shadowed face, whose expression was only defined by the whites of his eyes and shimmer of his teeth. Weren't they _just_ having a nice time? A silent, mutually beneficial moment between captive and guilty-by-association captor, in which one party gets snacks and the other gets to eventually fall asleep?

"I'm leaving, enjoy your cookies," Hinata lobbed the cookie in his hand toward the table, not caring if it reached its target. He quickly tore the seal off of a bottle of mineral water that was still in the bag, removed its lid and left it sitting upright. He pushed himself to his feet, feeling so, so stupid.

"Wait, Hina--"

"Leaving."

"Hinata-kun, I need to go to the bathroom!"

  
_Well, of course he does._ He was probably dehydrated, but this was an absurd amount of time to expect anyone to go without-- wait, how long had it been?

"How do you expect me to help you with that?" Hinata snapped, regretting his tone, his everything.

Komaeda just looked at him, eyes wide, expression still unreadable. The chain binding his wrists behind his back was looped around one leg of the table he was sheltered under. It wasn't particularly secure, but it didn't look like Komaeda had tried to escape, or do anything besides make himself marginally more comfortable. His legs were bound tight together with rope, and Hinata wasn't sure he could stand the second-hand embarrassment of watching him hop down the dark hallway, the other end of the chain clutched in Hinata's hand like a leash on a--

"Goddammit, god, damn it," Hinata scrubbed a hand back and forth through his short hair harshly, apparently waiting for a solution to fall out.

"And," Komaeda continued much quieter than before, "I know it's asking way too much, for someone like me, but I'd really like to take a shower, it's actually the only thing I want, I usually shower in the morning and at night, so I am clean when I go to sleep, and it's been two days, so I'm even more disgusting than usual, and to think you have to look at me while I'm like this is almost unbearable. I really..."

Hinata felt an odd sense of relief wash over him when the soft plea began. Komaeda was a _little_ bothered by being locked up in a room alone for three days with barely any food or water, maybe bothered by the prospect of being alone for countless more hours or days. It actually felt like a human response. Hinata felt disgusted with himself for how _surprised_ he was when he realized it.

"Hey, shut up," he interrupted quietly. "I'm gonna... untie you, okay?"

"If that's what you want to do, Hinata-kun!" Komaeda's tone was conversational.

"If you try to do something, I'm gonna tie you up again," Hinata warned, leaving out the parts in between where he'd have to physically fight him, probably punch him in the face or something, if he 'tried to do something'. Whatever that meant. He approached the table until its surface eclipsed the other boy's face entirely. For a prolonged moment, he pretended he was alone in the room, no one gauging his expression, contemplating his every move, his every breath. Then he knelt down and it was over, Komaeda was closer than before, the light in his eyes almost blinding at this distance. It felt suffocating, and the thought of crawling under the table made him falter. "Can you...move out from under there?"

"It took me a while to get under here in the first place, but if that's what you'd like, I will try." Komaeda smiled, nodded at his awkward angle, and his expression became stern concentration.

Hinata only allowed the pathetic, writhing attempt at movement to go on for about three seconds, (two seconds longer than he should have,) before stopping him with a hand on his shoulder. Komaeda felt cold. "Okay, stop it, that's awful. Hold still." Hinata yanked the tablecloth off the rest of the way and tossed it aside.

He leaned over Komaeda's slender, bound form to reach for the chains on his arms. His eyes had adjusted to the sub-table lighting well enough to see that his wrists were bruised where the metal wasn't cushioned by his green jacket sleeves. Hinata felt his expression turn reflexively sympathetic, and was relieved that Komaeda couldn't see his face at this angle. Obviously Souda and Nidai weren't exactly worried about a few bruises when they got him here, and he probably had more where that came from. There was no lock, it was just tightened chain tied in a knot that Hinata had some difficulty loosening. It finally went slack and he maneuvered it carefully over Komaeda's pale fingers. He issued a soft groan into the carpet as his arms flopped, independent of each other for the first time in two days, and he lay there uselessly while Hinata moved to his legs.

_I came here to unwrap snacks and now I'm unwrapping Komaeda, good job Hajime._

Legs and arms finally free, Komaeda lay under the table like a corpse, fingers twitching at his sides. Hinata thought about what it felt like to wake up after a long, deep, motionless sleep, and imagined this was a lot worse than that. "Come on, get up," he extended his hand and Komaeda grasped it lightly. Hinata tightened his grip and half-dragged him out from under the table. Komaeda stumbled a bit but ended up on shaky legs briefly before sinking to his knees.

"Sorry Hinata-kun, I'm very sorry, I'll be ready to stand up in a second, for anyone who had even a single worthwhile cell in their body, this wouldn't be so--"

"Stop it, it's fine, just take it easy," Hinata felt himself instinctively moving to support the crumpled heap of self-deprecation before even considering that it might be dangerous to get close.

Hinata was now faced with Options. Option 1 was to bring him to the old building's restroom, then push him back into the dining hall, do probably a bad job tying him back up, spend all night worried that he would escape and kill someone. Option 2 was to skip all that and release him back into the wild, spend all night worrying that he was going to kill someone. Option 3 was to keep an eye on him, wherever, since it didn't look like there was any sleep to be had tonight anyway. At least no one would die, probably.

While Hinata was lost in thought, Komaeda broke the silence. "I'm not going to attack you, Hinata-kun, if that's what you're thinking... there's already a motive in place that is much more interesting than anything I could come up with, and I believe everyone is going to shine brightly while solving the next case." Komaeda limped along, arm around Hinata's shoulder as they exited the old building.

"Don't say 'next case'," Hinata was glad he didn't have to look at him while holding him up, "No one is gonna hurt anyone else over some video game. They tied you up so there would be no 'next case', and here I am letting you out because I felt bad for you. How am I gonna explain this tomorrow? They're gonna kill me."

" _Hinata-kun!_ " Komaeda cried out so abruptly Hinata almost dropped him. "Don't put yourself at risk for someone like me! It's NOT a very hopeful reason to die, because you showed mercy to a pile of trash!"

"You're messing with me, right, Komaeda? Do you _want_ to go take a shower and pee? They're not literally going to kill me, because they're not you. _You're_ probably going to kill me." Hinata could almost see the threads of his patience snapping under the tremendous weight of speaking with Komaeda at 3am.

If the walk here was painful, the walk back was excruciating. Komaeda was babbling softly in his ear, words running together like a river and occasionally fracturing like thin ice. Hinata tried not to ingest anything he was saying, and shushed him as they approached the stretch of cottages. Soon he stood in front of his own door, still holding Komaeda up and wanting to die on the spot. _How did it come to this?_ He couldn't go to Komaeda's cottage, which he now pictured looking like a medieval weapons repository. At the very least, he knew his own living space to be danger-free. Or maybe he just wasn't creative enough to make it dangerous. He briefly fantasized about throwing Komaeda over the boardwalk and into the water below. Just briefly.

He was so tired.

Hinata unlocked the door and pushed Komaeda inside. He stumbled a bit but regained his balance as Hinata entered and quickly shut the door behind him. "Okay, the bathroom is over there-- I mean, of course it is, I'm sure your room looks the same. Go do whatever you need to do. Don't close the door all the way! I'm not gonna LOOK, I just don't want you trying anything weird. You can use my towel, I don't care. I don't have another one. I washed it recently."

_Now who's babbling?_ _You're an idiot._  


"Thank you, Hinata-kun," even Komaeda looked tired, but he smiled all the same.

Time seemed to skip as Hinata sat on his bed, staring at the yellow column of light that spilled out of the frosted bathroom window into the dark bedroom. He blinked once and suddenly steam was pouring out of the doorway. _When did he even turn on the shower?_ He blinked again when the faucet squealed to a stop. He blinked when the bathroom light clicked off. He blinked once more and Komaeda was standing in front of him in his white t-shirt and a pair of grey checkered boxer shorts, his hair had been towel-dried to a wild, damp mess. His pants and jacket were folded up neatly in his arms, and he looked distressed. "They were touching the floor for so long...they're filthy," it sounded like an apology. "Where would you like me to go?"

"Couch," Hinata said, and didn't even realize he'd been averting his gaze.

"You want me to stay _here_ , Hinata-kun?" His eyes went wide and it suddenly felt like even Komaeda thought it was a bad idea. He set his clothing on the floor, and clasped his hands over his chest, concerned.

"How am I going to relax if you're just running around? All I want to do is sleep, but now you're here."

"You can sleep, I told you I wouldn't do anything. Ah, but I guess I understand if you don't believe me. My face looks untrustworthy, but I still wouldn't even be good enough at lying to call it a talent!"

Hinata couldn't really parse if that was confirmation of his suspicions or not. "Sleep on the couch but...you have to announce if you're getting up. So I'll know. That you're up." Even as he said it he knew it was stupid. He flopped back on his mattress hard, with a frustrated groan. The mattress bounced with the force of his micro-tantrum for a few seconds, shaking him back and forth a bit, rattling something loose in his brain. "Or sleep on the edge of the bed."

"The...edge of the bed, Hinata-kun? Do you mean... at the foot of the bed, like a loyal family d--"

"Don't you dare say it." Hinata cleared his throat and continued. "If you sleep... on one side of the bed, I'll be able to feel you moving around. I'll wake up. It's a pretty big bed." He sounded sure. Komaeda looked dubious.

"So you don't mind having a pitiful bug like me crawling around in your sheets?"

_Why do you have to say it like that._  


"You better not crawl around, stay as still as you possibly can. I'm a light sleeper. That's the point. Get in first, by the window." Hinata lifted the comforter.

"I don't want to tell you that you should have better taste in people who you share your bed with, because who am I to say that, when it's _your_ taste, so maybe, ah, hmm..." Komaeda trailed off as his knee hit the soft mattress and the edge of whatever point he was making dulled. He lifted his other leg and shuffled across the expanse to the other side of the bed before flopping down and curling into a ball. There was only one pillow, and he was careful not to touch it. 

Hinata huffed, squared his shoulders, and climbed pointedly into bed after him. He dragged his pillow far over to his side and stuffed his legs under the sheets. He was comfortable with this, and it was a good idea. And then, despite everything, he actually fell asleep.

For about thirty whole seconds.

" _Hinata-kun._ "

 

" _Hinata-kun._ "

Hinata took a second to realize he wasn't dreaming, those blissful thirty seconds of sleep had been--" _Hinata-kun...!_ "

"Komaeda, what?! Go to sleep!"

"I will, I promise, but I wanted to warn you about something first..." Half of Komaeda's face was pressed into the mattress as he spoke, only one eye visible amidst his mass of pale hair. "If you, ah...try to do _that_ to me tonight, there's a lot of evidence left at the dining hall that would link you to the crime. Someone may have seen you buy the snacks, or someone might think, 'ah, only Hinata-kun would be so kind and careful to unwrap this many cookies for a sad worm like Komaeda Nagito, who is thankfully dead now', or various things like that..."

"What the hell, I didn't bring you here to kill you! Stop saying stuff like that!" Hinata sat up, sleepiness washed away with the tide.

"Of course, of course," Komaeda propped himself up on his elbows.. "But if you change your mind, remember to talk to me about it first, so we can make sure it's done properly. I don't even mind if it's terribly painful, but you shouldn't inconvenience yourself any more than necessary. For example, I'm sure you know, if you kill me in your own cottage, you'd have to move my body... and make certain there's no blood on your sheets! But there are lots of ways to kill someone without making such a mess, so there's no reason to limit yourself to something like that..."

Hinata was momentarily shocked into silence, unable to look away as Komaeda's eyes darkened. He almost didn't notice that Komaeda had started moving closer as he spoke, leaning in and subtly dragging himself across the bed.  By the time the gap between them had closed, long fingers were clutched desperately at his forearm.

"I'll bet your hands are strong enough to wrap around my neck, Hinata-kun," his voice fractured again, leaving not just a crack, but a gaping chasm that Hinata was in danger of falling into. "And then, all you'd have to do is squeeze." Hinata found that his hands were being pressed against Komaeda's throat then, and Komaeda's hands were wrapped around his wrists, guiding his thumbs to that specific spot where his pulse pounded--

"Stop it!" Hinata shoved him down and recoiled in one motion, the mattress shaking again, masking for a moment how much Hinata was trembling himself. "What the hell is wrong with you?" This time, it was Hinata's voice that cracked.

Komaeda didn't sit up or do anything. His shirt had ridden up a bit when he fell back, revealing a bruise on his ribcage that drew Hinata's gaze even in the dim light. Without thinking, Hinata reached out and placed his hand on it, relaxing his fingertips carefully over the ripple of his ribs. Komaeda inhaled sharply, but stayed perfectly still. Hinata's tone turned somber. "This happened because they're all scared of you-- _We're_ all scared of you. When we first met, you were the only person that made me feel comfortable here, despite everything that was happening... I thought we would be friends." Hinata could feel tears starting to prickle at the corners of his eyes, and he tried his best to blink them away. He was definitely just exhausted. "They think you're the traitor, you know... I wanted so badly to have someone here I could trust."

Komaeda's voice was barely above a whisper. "You don't have to trust me, but I trust you. I believe in you...I just want to make sure that you understand...that you could do anything to me, and I wouldn't mind... it's good to have someone like that, in a place like this, isn't it, Hinata-kun...?" He placed his hand over Hinata's as it rested on the bruise, and pressed down ever so slightly, eyes narrowing at the sensation.

Komaeda realized that he wasn't the only one applying pressure when Hinata's fingers curled, and the crescents of his nails began to dig into the skin below. Hinata leaned over him, expression pained as though he were the one with bruises.  "Do you really want someone to kill you? Do you actually think that little of your own life?" He truly regretted the question the second it came out of his mouth.

"I don't think anything of my own life," came the expected reply. Komaeda drew his knees up slowly, long legs emerging completely from the comforter, revealing more bruises. Probably from being thrown on the floor, or when he tried and failed to stand up earlier, Hinata thought to himself, placing his other hand on Komaeda's knee. He ran his thumb hard over the edge of the angular joint, as if trying to get behind the bone. He saw Komaeda shiver, saw his thighs part almost imperceptibly in response. "Hinata-kun," Komaeda said, lilting.

Hinata's other hand slid, without breaking contact, from his ribcage, up over his shirt, past his collarbone, and came to rest at Komaeda's neck. Lack of sleep had worn his filter thin enough to see through. "You say my name too much. It makes me feel weird."

"Sorry," Komaeda smiled up at him, his eyebrows upturned. "It must sound gross when someone so far below you addresses you like this, Hin--" He managed to stop himself, paused, then continued, "It makes me feel good to say it, and you can hardly expect someone like me to have any self control whatsoever. Hinata-kun." He tilted his head deliberately, and Hinata's fingers tensed against his throat. "Even just saying your name fills me with hope, and since that's all I have to live for, it's like a reflexive, animal instinct to stay alive, even against one's own wishes!" Komaeda was leaning forward now, pressing himself against Hinata's hand, his voice straining against the pressure. "Hinata-k--"

Hinata pressed him back into the mattress, fingers digging into his throat on the sides, careful not to actually crush his windpipe as he leaned over him. He pushed hard once, and Komaeda drew in a ragged breath. Time stopped while Hinata's mind rapidly conjured a million reasons why this was happening-- He was trying to get Komaeda to realize how absurd he was being, how insane this was, the gravity of what he was asking for. Hinata searched his eyes for fear, dragging his thumb slowly upward as he increased the pressure, desperate to see something there that would make him stop. There was nothing. Hinata himself had been holding his breath.

He released Komaeda abruptly and sat back on his ankles, breathing much too hard for how little he'd actually exerted himself. "I know what you're trying to do," Hinata hissed, angry at himself for letting it get this far, "I'm not gonna snap, you can't get under my skin that easily," he said it loudly enough that it must have been true.

"Ha...ha, of course," Komaeda was cheerfully ragged as he rubbed at his neck to ease the discomfort, to savor it. "I know you saw right through my scheme from the very beginning. I only wanted you to think about what it would feel like," he took a deep breath, "So you can decide for yourself if that's a method you would choose. And I got to see what it would feel like, too, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world that you would touch me at all, for any reason, even for a moment," he was starting to sound breathless again, choking on nothing but his own words, "And I'm so, so sorry that I'm like _this_ now, in your bed of all places, Hinata-kun, you must be so repulsed."

Hinata didn't have a chance to ask 'like what', before Komaeda's slender fingers moved from his throat, down the expanse of partially exposed torso, to rest at the waistline of his underwear. Oh, like _that._

"It's disgusting, isn't it, to see me like this," he whispered, back arching slightly as his middle two fingers slid under the elastic and lifted it away from his skin. "You expected way too much of me, thinking I could sleep so close to you without doing something _awful_..." Hinata considered how many seconds ago he should have stopped this, stopped all of it, should have thrown Komaeda's clothes at him, should have put a foot to his back and kicked him out the door. Murder someone, don't murder someone, it didn't matter, as long as he was gone. He thought back to the innocent Hinata Hajime sitting at the edge of his bed, before he even put his shoes on, and mentally tried to rewind the entire evening. Maybe that was his talent, to fuck up so spectacularly that he could actually go back in time. Just maybe, if he wished it hard enough.

Time didn't rewind and instead surged forward too quickly, as Hinata found himself hooking a finger on Komaeda's boxers as well; curiosity, exhaustion, and some other feeling he didn't want to acknowledge urging him on far past the point of common sense.  Komaeda didn't have the decency to look even a little bit surprised, which turned Hinata's stomach. He just smiled and lifted his hips so Hinata could slide the fabric down low enough to be dangerous. "You really don't have great taste, Hinata-kun."

 

~~~~

Hinata's hands shook as he exposed what Komaeda was pretending to be ashamed of. "You're... getting off... on me trying to kill you?" He demanded, trying to sound disgusted, trying to hide the tremor in his voice, trying very hard not to let his gaze focus on anything.

"You weren't trying to kill me, Hinata-kun," Komaeda grabbed at his wrist again, tugging Hinata's hands away from his thighs and closer to where they could do some good. "If that was you trying to kill me, I'd have to seriously question your ability to do anything at all!"

Then, Komaeda _laughed._

Hinata wrenched his wrist away from the insistent grasp and quickly moved his hand back between Komaeda's legs of his own accord, wrapping his fingers around him hard enough to shut him up. Komaeda's rasping laugh melted into a startled gasp, and his expression changed to something like shock, and it was the most satisfying thing to happen to Hinata all day, maybe all week. And he'd solved a fucking murder case three days prior. 

As Komaeda had been moving through increasingly vulnerable positions all night -- from tied up on the floor, to open-door showering, to someone else's fingers wrapped around his throat -- perhaps Hinata should have put together the pattern and guessed that this was the next step. He was sort of at a loss now, not sure what his goal had been now that Komaeda was breathing very hard and staring at him expectantly.

Komaeda's pupils dilated and he tipped his head to the side innocently. "Is it possible... that you don't know what to do next, Hina...ta..." The usual honorific got lost when Hinata's hand on him moved, one slow stroke downward, then back up. He stopped, watching the other's face. Komaeda's eyes were shut tightly and his head turned to the side. After a few moments, he opened one eye to peek at Hinata. "That was almost it, Hinata-kun," now it was Komaeda who was trying to keep the tremor out of his voice, "But really, is this how you do it to _yourself,_ when you--" he interrupted himself with a breathy groan as Hinata started to stroke him again, still unbelievably slow.

The underwear still on his thighs stretched taut when he spread his legs further, as if to encourage Hinata to _do a better job._ Hinata slowed down even more, and his touch became feather-light.  "Now that you mention it, I do it just fine to myself, thanks," he replied flatly, his hand all but motionless again.

Hinata sat back, no longer making any contact with Komaeda at all. He'd gone to bed fully-dressed minus his tie, as he'd been too worried about letting Komaeda out of his sight to go put on sleep clothes. Or maybe he didn't want Komaeda to see him in _his_ boxers. _So much for that,_ Hinata inwardly rolled his eyes as he reached for his zipper. He was already past the point of being embarrassed, and hesitating would only make it worse. He unzipped his slacks and pushed them down to his thighs. Komaeda had been on the verge of protesting a moment ago, but now he was propped up on his elbows, watching intently.

"Blue underwear, how cute, as expected of Hinata-kun," Komaeda sounded a little bored, or maybe it was impatience. Frustration. Whatever it was, it was irritating, and Hinata almost regretted that he hadn't fully explored his new method of shutting him up before deciding to let go. This had seemed like a good idea, but now he was faltering again, feeling like the vulnerable one. Had anything he'd done tonight been something anyone would call a 'good idea'? Hinata was still, so, _so_ tired. 

"Shut up," Hinata snapped, pushing Komaeda's shoulders back down to lie flat. Hinata shifted, placing his knees so that he was straddling the other boy's hips, and he leaned over, supporting himself with his left arm while his right hand pushed into his _cute_ blue boxers. He'd been successfully ignoring the fact that he was hard up till now, but he was at his limit. Komaeda was looking up at him with pure adoration again, and he opened his mouth to speak -- probably to say something irritating-- so Hinata kissed him.

Mouth sealed, Komaeda settled for a pleased humming sound, and Hinata started to stroke himself.  He was doing a pretty good job, and he broke the kiss and moved back a bit so that Komaeda could see that he did, in fact, know how to do it. Komaeda seemed suitably impressed, and began to reach very slowly up to pull at Hinata's waistband, tugging it down gently for a better view. Hinata let him, his head getting fuzzy at the thought of Komaeda's eyes on him. His wrist began working faster as Komaeda pushed his underwear down his thighs. Komaeda whispered his name for probably the millionth time that night, and Hinata caught himself whimpering. He had lost control of the situation, and part of him hated it, but part of him definitely didn't hate it, as evidenced by how hard he was panting now, how _close_ he was--

Komaeda reached up to grab his arm, and Hinata flinched at the contact. It had been too long since Komaeda had said something apparently, so he said something. "Hinata-kun," he sounded a little strained, "You shouldn't have to do something like this yourself when there's someone like me here, who loves you, who'd do anything for you, who would do anything to make you feel good, and wants very much to be... a stepping-stone, for hope," It wasn't totally clear if Komaeda was hearing himself anymore or if he just had a script he was going off of now, but even in Hinata's dazed state, he noticed that part of that had seemed...new.

"You...what?" Hinata panted, not sure he'd heard it all correctly. Komaeda moved on.

"Let me help you," he breathed, surprisingly concise.

He hadn't been ready to relinquish control, but when Komaeda got up on his hands and knees and leaned forward, Hinata's now-tired hand dropped to his side pretty quickly. 

Hinata let himself be pushed onto his back, head near the foot of the bed. Komaeda slid his pants and underwear off, and fucking folded them neatly on the bed beside them. Hinata watched him for a moment, about to say something, but then he was finished, and he moved fluidly between Hinata's thighs. He slid his hand under Hinata's knee and lifted his leg a little before dipping his head down. Hinata shivered at the tickle of wild, twisted strands of fluffy hair brushing his legs. It distracted him enough that he was shocked to feel the other boy's tongue on him. He didn't mean to cry out, but it happened, and he tried to cover it by stammering, "W-wait, wait..." but he didn't have a follow-up. They stared at each other for a moment, before Komaeda lowered his head and carefully took Hinata into his mouth.

Hinata hissed, feeling like he should have been prepared for what it would feel like, but completely unable to keep it together now that it was actually happening. Komaeda's head bobbed slowly between his legs, and Hinata couldn't help but wonder if he'd done it before. He started to feel awkward that the only sounds in the room were extremely embarrassing and mostly coming from him, so he took a deep breath and exhaled the first thought that came to mind.

"Komaeda," he gasped, "In the short time that I've known you...this is the only worthwhile thing... you've ever done, with your mouth..." He immediately wished he'd kept that thought to himself, and wasn't sure why he was insulting the person with his dick in his mouth at that moment. Komaeda looked up at him through his eyelashes, eyebrows raised, managing to look unimpressed. He punished Hinata by lifting his head to speak.

"That you would think my mouth is good for anything at all is praise far beyond what someone like me deserves," it lacked the highs and lows of his usual enthusiasm. "To think, Hinata-kun has praised any part of me, a talentless creature, an utter waste of space, who shouldn't even be breathing the same air, or perhaps shouldn't be breathing any air at all, as the flawless Hinata-kun, whose abilities must be _so great_ that he has forgotten them, as it would be too heavy a burden to unleash his exquisite perfection on the--"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Hinata lifted his hips impatiently, hating himself. He grabbed at Komaeda's hair to pull him back down, but he was already on his way. Komaeda swallowed him again, rougher this time, and Hinata vowed to stay silent. Aside, of course, from the sounds Komaeda was sucking out of him. He dug his heels into Komaeda's back to keep him there.

He kept a grip on the other boy's hair, liking the way it felt in his hand: the pretense of control. He knew it was only pretense though; Komaeda had one hand on Hinata's hip and one hand resting idly on his stomach and if he had, at any moment, decided to 'do' that nebulous 'something' that Hinata has been so afraid of all night, there was probably no one in this room who would stop him.

When Komaeda moaned with his mouth full, Hinata's feet slid off his back and thumped hard onto the bed. His heels dug into the mattress and he pushed himself backward a few inches, his head fully tipped back and hanging off the foot of the bed as he gasped. "K.....eda... I'm... kinda..." Hinata was staring at his front door upside down, feeling gravity drag syllables out of his mouth. He pulled hard on the hair still in his hand, his vision darkened and his hips bucked upward, further down Komaeda's throat (which had already endured a lot tonight,) and he finished with a sharp cry.

He kept gazing at the flipped image of his door as his dull senses prickled back to life. He made no move to sit up, knowing that once he did he'd have to look at Komaeda, who he could feel shifting around on the mattress at his feet. Komaeda, who was supposed to be tied up in the dining hall right now. Komaeda, who had instigated the murder of one of his classmates a few days ago. Komaeda, who had just gone down on him. It was probably worth a quick look.

Hinata pushed himself up too fast and almost blacked out. He felt Komaeda gently pull his legs forward so that he was no longer on the precipice of the mattress and he flopped back down, too exhausted to take in any view besides his dark ceiling.

Before long, the silence between them went from acceptable to weird, and Hinata couldn't believe that he chose now to have nothing to say. With his pulse no longer pounding in his ears, he sat up. He found Komaeda curled against the windowed wall of the bed, one arm pressed between his legs, moving in a quick rhythm. He was staring at nothing, biting his lower lip hard.

"Uhh," Hinata said. Komaeda's gaze flicked toward him, before settling back on the wall.

"Is it okay?" Komaeda breathed. "...I won't be long."

"Umm," Hinata articulated again. "Do you... want me to..."

"You don't have to."

Hinata looked a bit deflated. It wasn't said with the same tone Komaeda usually used to get his way; Hinata didn't feel provoked. But this whole night had started with his desire to make things right with Komaeda, and he wasn't about to lose anymore sleep over the guilt of his mistreatment. He shuffled towards the taller boy, who seemed so small and frail when he was folded up like this. He placed a hand on his knee and squeezed until Komaeda made eye contact again. "Tell me what you want me to do...I can try to...return the, uh, the favor, but I've never really, so I'd probably..."

"Just touch me again, Hinata-kun," he said finally, freeing Hinata from having to finish his very good and well thought out offer at oral sex (which would have undoubtedly been awesome.)

Hinata hurriedly obliged so that neither of them would have to say anything else. He spread Komaeda's legs again, and knelt between them, placing his hand on him. He started to move at the pace Komaeda had been at a few moments ago, and soon he was treated to pleasant, raspy gasps that echoed throughout his cottage. Komaeda started breathing his name in between gasps, and Hinata felt it running through him, coursing through his veins and before long he found himself back in a precarious state. He leaned forward to kiss Komaeda again, pressing him against the wall as he stroked him harder. Komaeda's eyes were closed, but he reached out to reciprocate the gesture, taking Hinata in his hand and moving a little too roughly, or maybe it was exactly right, and soon Komaeda broke the kiss to sob into Hinata's shoulder that he was sorry, that he was trash, that he didn't deserve this, and Hinata thought that it sounded like he really meant it. He wanted to say something, to correct him, but then Komaeda cried out, muffled against his neck, and Hinata nearly blacked out for the second time as Komaeda reverberated through him. They slumped against each other, breathing raggedly.

Hinata chose not to address Komaeda's choice of pillow talk, and instead opted for, "You really are a SHSL Lucky student, huh..." before thinking that that sounded maybe like he was patting himself on the back too hard. Komaeda picked up on it quickly, as patting Hinata on the back was his job.

"Even my experience in the dining hall wasn't enough bad luck to account for the good fortune of, ah... this evening," he said delicately, sincerely. "Something really bad is going to happen to me later, something much worse. Or to you, if you stay too close to me, and if something bad happened to you, it would be the equivalent of ten thousand bad things happening to me."

"Alright." Hinata said, flopping down on the bed, suddenly too tired to exist.

Komaeda ran his clean hand through his own hair, and Hinata's last thought before closing his eyes was that it was impossible to tell if Komaeda looked disheveled.

"I need... to shower again, if you don't mind," He paused for a long time, perhaps wondering if Hinata had already fallen asleep. "I will go back to the dining hall if you like, you don't have to come, I promise to make it look like I was never gone."

Hinata didn't want to argue the logistics of Komaeda chaining himself to a table. "No," he said hoarsely. "You can stay here. Just don't kill me while I'm asleep."

"I won't, Hinata-kun."

"Goodnight then."

"Goodnight.......Hinata-kun."

Komaeda slipped out of bed without the mattress so much as quivering, and Hinata was fast asleep before he even got to the bathroom.

**Author's Note:**

> hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. what has happened to me


End file.
